I got a lot of things solved in my life for now. I have a job, well a temp job but it’s something. I work in a warehouse with one other kid and we work on occasion and sit around for the rest of the time. Ha. We finish all the work that they ask of us and then we are left with nothing to do so thus the reason for the sitting around. I’m back together with Mandy and I couldn’t be happier. The situation here at the house is weird. Things have happened between Will and Heather and it makes it weird at times. Koren moved in. She isn’t here the majority of the time but its kool. That’s what I have been up to. Mandy and I went out on a date this past Friday. It was nice. I enjoyed myself and am happy that we are back together.

What in the hell am I doing?

What is going on everybody? In reading my old blogs I wish that I could remember my old host for my comments so that I might be able to retrieve them and see what people had to say. Oh well though. I saw Juan this past weekend. It was nice. He had a lot to say and it was an overall good time. We went to Friendly Confines and had a few pitchers of beer. Heather had to come pick us (Will, Juan and I) up because we were incapable of driving. Today I went out with my brother. We went to the doctor so he could get his test results, then over to the mall where we ate and walked around for a bit and then to UCF where I sat in on one of his classes. It was interesting. I didn’t stay for the whole thing but it seemed pretty easy. I went outside and walked around. I start work tomorrow at Siemens err something. It should be easy as usual. It’s supposed to be for about a month but we’ll see if it actually is. I’ve heard that before from them. I tried out for this band Oh Romeo!. They are pretty alright. Their previous drummer was pretty good and now that it’s going to be a full house over here we had to take the kit down so I can’t really play anymore. It sucks but it’s only temporary. Erin moved in because of things with her ex and then Koren is moving in soon as well. So if you didn’t know that now you do. I have to wake up at 7 tomorrow. I haven’t been up that early in a while. I was up at 7:30 a few weeks ago but not 7. I jammed with Will and Jonah last Friday. It was fun, but I kept messing up. I was nervous and shouldn’t have been but oh well. It happens. I thought I had things to actually talk about but I guess not, just a bunch of rambling but deal with it. This weekend should be fun. It’s Alan’s birthday. We’re going out somewhere earlier in the evening and then later we’re going somewhere as well but I can not say b/c I am unsure if he reads this or not. And Friday is game night which we have not had in sometime. Also Friday I’m going with Mandy to this place to talk about “us” and your feelings and such. I hope things can get resolved or at least to a point. What is new, what is new? I can’t think right now. This Sunday is father’s day. I still have to get my dad a card and a gift. I have no clue what to get him. I’ll think of something. Being sad is no fun. Being alone is no fun. I’m alive though. I try to stay happy and I do a pretty good job of it. I just look to the Lord to help me and He always does. I guess that’s it for this post since I can not think of anything else for the time being. I hope everyone is doing wonderful.

I LOVE LIFE!!!!!! AS LONG AS I HAVE MUSIC I WILL SURVIVE!!!!!!!

funny thing life is.

Yesterday and into last night I started reading my old blog entries. They brought back so many memories, good and bad. I miss the way my life was. I shouldn’t dwell on the past but I had it pretty good. I was so sure of things and the way I was and the way I wanted to be. I need to be that way again. I have to stop second guessing myself and just live life. I have to do things. I can’t keep sitting here on the sidelines watching my life go by. That’s what I’ve been doing for some time. I’m not taking initiative. While reading my old entries I started to cry. I was so freaking happy most of the time. I still am but it’s like I learned from my past. I saw how I was and I want to be that way again. I’m probably just repeating myself but that’s fine by me. I was really happy with Mandy and I use to say how I loved her so much because I did. I was sure she was the one for me. Then I fell into temptation and lost my ways. I have no clue why this happened. I realized last night all the pain that I have caused myself and others. It came barreling down on me and I laid there in bed and cried about it. What have I done? What have I become? I still believe that I am a good person I just fell off my path. I need to get my life back on track, one step at a time. I’m just wandering around in my life waiting for things to take place and I must stop this. I will get no where and I will be pathetic my whole life if I continue this way. There are so many things I want to say and want to do but I’m just waiting for a sign and I’m not getting one. I’m at a loss of what should be done. I know it will come to me. I will get my life back the way that I want it.

My life = crazyness & confusion.

I am down tonight. Let me tell you about it. I’m just alone. At times I want to have someone but I know those are the wrong reasons for being with someone, just to have them. I think I have everything figured out and then out of nowhere comes another obstacle or interference. If life were simple there would be no point in living. If everything was easy we would have nothing to work for. I need to be closer to God is what it all comes down to. If I had a better relationship with the Lord my life would be better. I wouldn’t be worried about finding something or needing that something to feel whole. I would be filled with His love and I would be whole. I would not have a human partner but I know that will come in time. I need to take the necessary steps to form a better relationship with Him and then I will find my life and love. It all comes in doses. I’ll just wait till it’s time to take mine.